Examples What to Say When a Family Member Passes Away

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Knowing what to say when someone dies when talking to a friend, family member, colleague or anyone who has lost someone dear to them, is an incredibly sensitive topic.

Grief is dissimilar for everyone. It manifests itself differently in different people and no one person'due south feel of grief is the same. As a issue, there isn't i formula for knowing what to say when someone dies.

However, knowing examples of what you might say to convey sympathy and support for those who are grieving is a good first step towards beingness there and helping someone who has suffered a loss.

Charities that support both adults and children coping with grief and loss share their insights and communication on what to say when someone dies beneath. Along with advice on what to exercise to support anyone in your life who has suffered a bereavement.

What to say when someone dies

Existence aware of how your words come across and tin can exist construed past anyone mourning a loss is the first step to knowing what to say when someone dies.

Pam, a volunteer for The Bereavement Trust, told us that while it is quite normal for people to be agape to contact those who are bereaved, because they don't know what to say, information technology is so of import recollect that a friendly vox gives then much condolement to those who are going through a sad, disruptive, lonely and worrying time.

'When someone loses a loved ane they demand to talk,' Pam explained. 'We at the Bereavement Trust call up the most of import thing is to listen, to be agreement and show empathy.

'Those who have lost someone feel such pain and feet and need to know that you care for them and volition be there for them, whenever needed. They volition experience extreme loneliness and need regular contact from friends and family to help support them.'

Your friend or family unit member will need a lot of back up during this difficult time. (Credit: Getty)

'Exist patient, understanding and only give communication if asked. Grief takes fourth dimension to start to heal and may accept months or several years.'

If y'all need more information or support, y'all tin can go far touch on with The Bereavement Trust by visiting their website or calling their free national helpline on 0800 435 455.

What to say when someone is grieving

Hither are some suggestions from Cruse Bereavement Care if you are finding it difficult to know what to say when someone dies:

• "I don't know what to say but I am so sorry to hear this news."
• "I am and so pitiful for your loss – you are in my thoughts."
• "I'm and then sad to hear this and I'm here if you need to talk."
• "He/she was such a wonderful person/so selfless – full of positivity/kindness [any feels advisable] – they will be hugely missed."
• "He/she volition be missed and so much – they were so special. You lot are in my thoughts."
• "I am so very distressing to hear this pitiful news. I cannot imagine how devastated you are."
• "So very shocked and saddened by this sad news. Difficult to believe [name] has gone. I am here when you lot need me."
• "This is so heartbreaking – I wish I could be in that location to give you a hug."
• "I cannot imagine the hole that she/he will have left. If yous need anything, allow me know."

Andy Langford, Clinical Managing director at Cruse Bereavement Intendance, a charity that works to offering back up, advice and information to children, young people and adults when someone dies, spoke to us for this article:

'The about of import thing is to not worry near saying the incorrect thing. Often, there isn't a "correct" thing to say. The feeling will come up across and it is more important that you lot say something than that yous find the perfect words.'

Andy's advice, if y'all are struggling with what to say when someone dies, is to non avoid the truth past acknowledging the news of the death when talking to a someone by sharing your condolences, saying how sorry y'all are that their friend or relative has died.

Remind the person who is bereaved that yous are there for them. (Credit: Getty)

You should too remind the person who is bereaved that y'all are there for them. Y'all tin say this in person, transport a card, text or e-mail. However you go far touch on, it is important to do so and can mean the earth when someone is feeling isolated in their grief.

If y'all are struggling, you can get in touch with Cruse past calling their free National Helpline on 0808 808 1677 or visiting their website.

What to say when someone dies if talking to a bereaved parent or sibling

What to say when someone dies – examples of phrases that are supportive and helpful:

• "I am so sad to hear most your loss"
• Share memories and look at photos if the parent wishes
• "What has been the hardest to acquit today?"
• "How are you lot managing , today"
• "I'd dearest to take the dog for a walk/become the shopping for y'all today"
• "Would yous like to have a warm bath /slumber whilst I take the kids to the park?"
• "Tell me, well-nigh your child/begetter/mother/family fellow member/friend – what were they similar?" (if appropriate)
• "I remember when ……." share recollections of times with the person who died.

Nicola Whitworth, founder of SLOW, a charity that works with bereaved parents and siblings, spoke to us about their work: 'At Dull we run back up groups for bereaved parents, run by bereaved parents. The groups are for every parent who has lost a kid of any age, and in whatsoever circumstances, at any point after their loss.'

Based on Nicola's personal experience and her experience working for bereaved parents through SLOW, she has compiled a listing below of what to say when someone dies to bring comfort, salve and relief.

Every bit a caveat to the list below Nicola advises: 'It's worth noting that those who are bereaved are pain in a way impossible to imagine. On some days, goose egg anyone could say would be ok, as the grief is and then intense, and the world so incorrect, that information technology tin feel that there is no alleviation.

'Therefore, my suggestion is that an overarching sensitivity, presence and willingness to be there for someone in grief is the nearly valuable gift that tin be given by a friend or family member towards a grieving individual.

'As a culture, we literally cannot acquit the pain of loss. And then, to be able to listen to someone without 'trying to make information technology better' or overlaying someone's feelings of grief with advice, opinion, or judgement, is the almost important thing.'

'Generally, it'due south felt that to be present and unafraid to sit quietly with someone whilst they cry, talk or just remain quiet is the most helpful,' Nicola explains. 'A listening ear is the almost appreciated quality.'

Don't be afraid to sit quietly with someone who is grieving. (Credit: Getty)

'It'south fine to weep and show that you share in their sorrow, simply remember it'due south their sorrow and not yours, so make them the heart.

'You volition non upset a grieving person by mentioning the proper noun of their loved one, and sharing your own memories By talking about their loved one, you are not 'reminding' them – they have not forgotten!'

If y'all demand more information, back up or are struggling, you can arrive touch with Slow by visiting their website or getting in touch with their London Back up Groups via phone on 07532 423 674.

What to say to children when someone dies

Suzie Phillips, associate director at Winston's Wish, a clemency that supports children and their families afterward the expiry of a parent or sibling, has shared her professional person advice with us based on her many years of experience working, counselling and teaching on this incredibly sensitive topic:

'Adults can be worried well-nigh talking to children about a expiry considering they worry that they will somehow brand it worse and cause the child distress. Even so, the line we ofttimes use is 'nil you tin can say can make it worse because the worse has already happened',' Suzie explained to us.

'As a general guidance what nosotros say to anybody that might be coming into contact with a bereaved child is acknowledge the decease.

'Adults tin can often feel that they need to have all the answers, which can put people off talking about information technology in the first identify but actually the most important thing is merely existence there and listening.

If an adult acknowledges a child'due south loss, it may take some of the force per unit area off them to bring information technology up. (Credit: Getty)

'It might be ok to say 'I heard your grandma died, I'm here if you want to talk' or 'I hear that someone has died, I'm sorry to hear that' for example.

'Likewise, as children might worry almost bringing their bereavement up themselves, for an developed to start past saying that and acknowledging the loss, information technology may take some of the force per unit area off them and be enough to make them feel more comfortable.

'Sometimes for children that will be enough – that you accept best-selling the loss in their lives and shown your support of them.

'Subsequently, just spending time together with the child and so they don't feel lone, is enough without talking farther well-nigh the expiry. Going for a walk, playing football, doing an activity together will allow space and time for conversations to organically happen about the lost loved one.'

Suzie told us that it is e'er advisable to endeavor and talk to the families first before talking to a child about the loss of a loved i, simply so you are aware of how much the child knows most the death.

Once you take acknowledged the decease of a loved 1 with a grieving child, Suzie also expressed how important it is to help the young person continue to experience connected to the person who has died:

'Making memories such as retentiveness boxes or memory jars or even only talking near the person who has passed away is actually important to help children maintain that connect with a person even when they take died. This tin provide comfort and solace to children who are grieving.'

Give children the chance to express what they are feeling. (Credit: Getty)

It's really important, Suzie explained, that children accept their feelings validated when they are grieving. That they have a chance to express what they are feeling. For little children, they will as well need assist in putting words and names to what they are feeling.

'Using phrases such every bit 'Are you feeling sad today?' Or, 'are you missing someone today?' Or, 'are you feeling sad or angry right now?' tin can help children identify and express their emotions.'

Saying something like 'I wonder if you're aroused because y'all're feeling very worried?' volition help children to sympathise their emotions and feelings. Information technology's important to do this instead of reacting to their acrimony, changed temperament or personality with criticism.

'It's harder for children to grieve because they have not yet congenital upwards that complete adult understanding of those emotions and feelings yet to limited themselves,' Suzie explained.

'They need to know it's okay to feel any they are feeling. Grief is an isolating experience for adults and children alike. So children demand to know that what they are feeling is normal. They need to reassured that at that place isn't a correct or incorrect manner to grieve.'

If you are struggling or need help and further proficient advice on supporting a grieving child or young person after the death of a loved one, you can get in touch with Winston'due south Wish by calling their free national helpline on 08088 020 021 or visit their website.

Additional support, useful links and free services for the bereaved

If you lot need to speak someone, are struggling, have lost a loved i yourself or are looking for aid or further communication on how to support someone who is bereaved, these fantastic charities are ready and waiting to assist anyone in demand. You may notice the post-obit resources helpful:

The Good Grief Trust – thegoodgrieftrust.org

Cruse – Free helpline: 0808 808 1677 – cruse.org.great britain

Child Bereavement Uk – Free helpline: 0800 02 88840 – childbereavementuk.org

Winston'southward Wish – Complimentary national helpline on 08088 020 021 – winstonswish.org

Child Death Helpline – Costless helpline: 0800 282 986

Grief Encounter – Free helpline: 0808 802 0111 – griefencounter.org.united kingdom

Bereavement Trust – Complimentary helpline: 0800 435 455 – bereavement-trust.org.uk

Sands – Free confidential helpline for anyone affected by the decease of a baby: 0808 164 3332 – sands.org.great britain

Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide – 0300 111 5065 – uksobs.org

The Lullaby Trust – Support helpline: 0808 802 6868 – lullabytrust.org.uk

SLOW – slowgroup.co.united kingdom

Young Minds – youngminds.org.britain

COVID-19 Bereavement National Helpline – 0800 2600 400

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Source: https://www.goodto.com/family/what-to-say-when-someone-dies-551732

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