How to Stop Putting So Much Effort Into a Relationship

Let's start the article by saying that every relationship needs to be maintained to last. Both parties in the relationship should put in equal efforts to keep the love and spark alive. Unfortunately, that's not the case in some relationships. Sometimes, only one partner is working to keep the relationship alive. This is a common problem that leads to you being in a one-sided relationship.

If you've ever thought "I put so much effort into it," and feel like your partner isn't trying hard enough, then there might be underlying problems that need to be dealt with. Like all things in life, you have to find a balance when it comes to relationships. Communicate with your partner and express your feelings as well as opinions on the matter.

So, why not take a step back and look at the balance? Are you going out of your way to keep them happy all the time? Are they doing the same for you? Read on to figure out some of the signs that you might be putting too much effort into the relationship.

1. You're always the one who starts conversations

Whether it's texting or the conversation during dates, you're always the one starting the conversations. Have you ever scrambled to try and find topics to talk about with your partner while they just sit there and put no effort in keeping the conversation going? While there's nothing wrong with texting first or starting the conversations, you shouldn't be the one who's always reaching out first. If they don't reach out to you every now and again, that's a big red flag that they might not be interested in maintaining the relationship.

2. You feel anxious about the relationship

Do you feel like you're always walking on eggshells in the relationship? If you're always anxious about how your relationship is going, then you might be worrying too much. There are usually signs when a relationship is going well or not. You should be able to feel them instinctively. If you're worrying too much about your relationship, chances are you're just putting too much effort into the relationship. Relax a bit and go with the flow. If something really worries you, then try communicating with your partner.

3. They force you to adjust to their schedule

Unless your partner is a super busy entrepreneur or medical professional, then they should be able to spare some time for you. However, if you find yourself always having to fit their schedule and never the other way, then maybe you're putting too much more effort into the relationship than they do. If your partner truly feels that the relationship is worth it, they should be able to adjust to your schedule too, instead of putting all the workload on your shoulder.

4. You always have to make the plans

From date nights to birthdays and anniversaries, does it ever feel like you have to make all the plans in your relationship? Does your partner ever plan a surprise date for you or help you make arrangements for special occasions? If you're the one who has to constantly reach out to your partner and make the plans, then you're definitely putting too much effort into the relationship way more than they do.

5. They don't appreciate you

Working to maintain a relationship is never easy. Usually, however, the love and appreciation you get from your partner make everything worthwhile. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. Sure, maybe your partner gets tired or busy from time to time. But if they never appreciate your efforts, then there's definitely something wrong in the relationship. Try communicating with your partner about this and express your views and concerns about this situation.

6. You're exhausted

"I feel like I'm the only one putting in effort in this relationship". If your relationship exhausts you, then you're probably right. There must be an underlying problem that needs to be addressed. We all have rough patches in our relationship, but if you're exhausted all the time, that means you're putting in too much effort, perhaps much more than your partner does. Spending time together and communicating with your partner shouldn't make you feel tired. It should make you feel better.

7. They don't care about your personal life

Everyone loves attention from their loved ones. It feels great to have your romantic partner involved in your personal life. You probably ask your partner about their day and ask how you can support or comfort them during rough patches in their life. But have they ever done the same thing for you? If they don't pay any attention to your personal life, hobbies, or work, then you're definitely in a one-sided relationship. If you feel like you're the only one who cares, talk to them about it. Remember, you also deserve love and attention, much like your partner does.

8. You feel desperate

You feel like your relationship is in a rut and you need to fix it. You keep trying to see your partner. You keep making date plans and keep trying to make them happy. You just feel like there's something that's not right in your relationship. If any of these points apply to you, then you're definitely worrying too much and putting too much effort into the relationship.

Stop and take a step back, see your partner's reaction to it, and analyze the dynamics of your relationship. Does your partner start worrying too and putting more effort into the relationship? Or do they continue as they are and don't even try to maintain the relationship at all? At one point, while it may hurt, you might even need to admit that the relationship is no longer worth maintaining.

Takeaway Message

Maintaining a healthy and successful relationship is not easy, but it should be worth all the effort you put into it. Remember, a relationship and spending time with your partner should make you happy, not tired, or depressed.

If the thought about putting too much effort into a relationship has ever crossed your mind, then you need to take a step back and analyze the dynamic in your relationship. Is your partner putting in as much effort as you do? Or are you overdoing it? When it comes to relationships, it's all about balance. If you identify with more than half of the points on this list, then try communicating with your partner and express your concerns with them. Good luck.

How to Stop Putting So Much Effort Into a Relationship

Source: https://www.lovearoundme.com/blog/8-signs-youve-been-putting-too-much-effort-into-your-relationship.html

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